A is for Amazing Climax. The final season at the Boleyn was everything we could have hoped for and more. With victories against all the big clubs, a treble over Liverpool, finally seeing off the Everton jinx and, of course, finishing off with a thrilling win over Man United in the final home game. Please don’t let me wake up and find out it’s been a dream!
B is for Brilliant Bilic. This man just seems to get things right all the time. He’s cool, thoughtful and astute. Approachable, but you wouldn’t dare cross him. Perhaps most impressive is his capacity to shrug it off when decisions go against us – more than you can say for most of us!
C is for Chairmen. Hats off to the Davids –you are the best chairmen in the league. When you arrived we were a shambles after, as Mark Noble put it, years of being run ‘like a circus’. Wind forward five years and we are Europe’s fastest growing and trendiest club.
D is for Discipline. This is one area where we can certainly improve. With a whopping nine red cards last season it seems we differ from Big Sam’s side in every way – both in style of football as well as fair play!
E is for Europa League. Last year we used it to embellish our pre-season preparations. With a strong squad and heaps of young talent coming through, maybe this year we might take it more seriously?
F is for Free kicks. With Dimitri Payet, Aaron Cresswell and Enner Valencia ready to offer their services, we are a frightening proposition. We simply dare you to concede any within 35 yards…
G is for Ginger Pele. It looked like his time was up when he slipped to fourth choice centre back at the start of the season but he was outstanding when he got his chance. How we missed him after he got injured in March. Hopefully he can have a similar impact this seson.
H is or Happyheads. Yes, we are the happy Hammers again. Apart from the fans, we also have a squad of upbeat extroverts. Both on and off pitch Adrian is a ray of inspiring positivity, with Michail Antonio a close second as the happiest head in the Premier League!
I is for Internationals. While the Euros will play host to Payet, Randolph and Collins, a recurring issue all season has been Hodgson’s determined exclusion of West Ham players. Cresswell, Antonio, Carroll and (especially) Noble can feel aggrieved to be idle over the summer. However, from a selfish West Ham perspective, perhaps this isn’t a bad thing – ask Dean Ashton!
J is for Julian Dicks. Back and adding bite to our being! It was brilliant to see him back on the pitch for the Noble testimonial. You can feel his presence within the spirit of the side and what a fantastic rapport he has with the fans. Mr Dicks, please come back to Twitter.
K is for Kouyate. A truly swashbuckling midfield dynamo. If ever there was a box to box player it’s Cheikhou. In most seasons he would be Hammer of the Year.
L is for Lanzini. Our prized jewel. This kid has the ability to unlock the tightest defences. Despite injuries, he notched a useful seven goals but, just as importantly, when he plays it creates more space for Payet with inevitable consequences!
M is for Michail Antonio. The gift that just keeps on giving. This lad is endlessly energetic and willing to do anything for the team, even play at right back! Next season will surely see him as a permanent fixture down the right wing?
N is for Noble. Our Captain Claret. Immense leadership on and off the pitch and revelling is his new more attacking role. Far too good for England. Enjoy your well-earned rest Nobes, next year will be big!
O is for Ogbonna. When Bilic brought him in many of us were a tad sceptical. Better than Tonks and Ginge? Surely no way! His initial performances were patchy but Angelo has grown with the team and now shades it for the centre back berth alongside wonderful Winston Reid.
P is for Payet. Already a legend after a single season! Nuff said.
Q is for Queen Elizabeth Olympic Park here we come! Can we bring the Boleyn atmosphere with us? We can certainly try!
R is for Ribman. Giving us top nosh on matchdays. The kick from his HF sauce is so good it makes you feel like you’ve just witnessed another Payet free kick!
S is for Song. No, not Alexandre but that man Payet again and his song. It’s so catchy Adrian and Kouyate can’t stop singing it in public. No doubt Billy Ray Cyrus will be proud. Meanwhile, Dimitri just keeps achy-breaking opponents hearts!
T is for Testimonial. Mark Noble’s big day at the Boleyn was a highlight of a stunning season and proved one of the happiest days ever at the Boleyn. While most attention focused upon the final game, for many this was the most fitting farewell to the Old Lady Boleyn.
U is for Upton Park. It’s really true, we are out! Even as we speak the place is being dismantled so that fans can purchase a piece for all of eternity.
V is for Valencia. Enner is perhaps the player that frustrates Hammers fans most as he shines in fits and starts but then succumbs to injury. Is he finally adjusting to the Premier League? Will he still be with us next year despite the recent speculation?
W is for referees (work with us on this). The officials that ruined our Champions League ambitions. Robert Madley (Chelsea), Craig Pawson (Arsenal), Mark Clattenburg (Palace) and Jonathon Moss (Leicester) we hereby gift you a free Specsavers consultation.
X is for X-factor. We have got it in bucket fulls! Long-suffering but loyal fans are getting their just rewards as we face an extremely exciting future!
Y is for Yes. Yes, we can achieve Champions League qualification in 2017. While it remains to be seen whether Leicester are one-season wonders, the Hammers on-field progress is underpinned by a remarkable and deep-seated transformation in the club. We are a big club now.
Z is for Zlatan? At the end of the season, it felt like anything was possible at West Ham. We got Payet didn’t we so why not Ibrahimovic? Imagine pairing those two. Close your eyes and imagine.