Baroness Brady’s “world-class stadium with a world-class team” quote is up there with all the political misinformation wilfully peddled over the last dozen years or so.
Like the £350m per week the Brexit bus promised for the NHS, we’re still waiting for those in power to come good on their pie-in-the-sky pledges. Now, I remain in the optimistic/naïve minority who believe that the move to the London Stadium represented progress.
For all its faults, I still pinch myself that little old West Ham had the UK’s second-highest attendance figures (massaged or not) over several years and I seriously doubt whether we’d have ever enjoyed European success back at Upton Park. If nothing else, I think the move provides evidence to future investors who might fulfil the “world-class stadium with a world-class team” promise that we are a sleeping giant, capable of greatness under the right leadership.
Too many column inches have already been spent on the stadium, so I want to focus on part two of Brady’s pledge: the team that was supposed to come with it.
Languishing in the relegation zone as I write, it’s clear that a world-class team has not been established over the past decade at the London Stadium. In fact, so far away are we from this, I began to wonder whether we could build a world-class team from all those to have graced the new stadium wearing claret and blue. This is what I came up with.
The Defensive Unit
Goalkeeper – Łukasz Fabiański Areola is a World Cup winner, but then so is Guido Rodríguez. Fabiański has been a reliable mainstay between the sticks for much of our time at the LS and wouldn’t have much trouble making himself first choice today if he were five years younger. However, Conference League was always his natural level rather than Champions League.
Right-back – Vladimír Coufal Vlad at his best was a force to be reckoned with, underrated in a Premier League chockful of quality right-backs at the time. Pablo Zabaleta was a fading force by the time he joined (quelle surprise) and Wan-Bissaka had a good debut season but there’s no hiding the fact that he’s a Manchester United reject in an age where nobody fears going to Old Trafford.
Left-back – Aaron Cresswell Peak Cresswell possibly would have picked up more England caps over the youngsters given run-outs recently but the three he did achieve are indicative of his overall ability. A fine servant who will always be valued for his longevity as much as his quality.
Centre-backs – Kurt Zouma / Angelo Ogbonna Very slim pickings in this category, although it could be argued that this has been the case across world football during the same time period. Zouma will probably be best remembered for his dodgy knees and kicking a cat, but he had the attributes to be top-notch. The ever-steady Ogbonna edges Winston Reid, whose best days were at Upton Park, and Craig Dawson, who out-performed all expectations to become a cult hero but was lacking pace and finesse.
The Engine Room and Creative Spark
Centre-midfielders – Declan Rice / Tomáš Souček Rice is a bona fide world-class talent, and this was evident when he was with us despite nonsense claims that he has re-invented his game at Arsenal. It’s damning that we didn’t pay a penny for him but squandered the £100m received. Souček gets the nod alongside because he might not be the silkiest of players but he has been highly effective over a number of seasons and he forged a mean partnership with Rice, at least until the latter decided that he wanted to be more offensive. At the same time, it should be noted that the aging Souček doesn’t merit a starting spot in today’s team and the nimbler Mateus Fernandes will hopefully surpass the Czech’s box-to-box proficiency in due course, but he’ll certainly never take as many blows to the head!
Attacking midfielder – Manuel Lanzini Lucas Paquetá is a luxury player, capable of moments of magic but more often culpable for giving the ball away in stupid areas. Even our best team can’t carry him. Therefore, this position goes to another South American, who might have achieved more had he not suffered an ACL injury on international duty. The Argentinian also linked up neatly with two other attacking selections and wasn’t tainted by disciplinary issues like the mercurial Brazilian.
The Front Three
Right-winger – Jarrod Bowen From humble beginnings at Hereford to legendary status via Hull and a last-minute winner in Prague. No other player has become part of the West Ham family to the same extent as Bowen but this is no nepotistic pick because he’s also consistently our best player.
Left-winger – Dimitri Payet Shoehorned into the side largely on the basis of that one sublime season at Upton Park, had the London Stadium seen more of Payet then I genuinely believe it might have been a happier place. Even in a few short months we had a rabona assist and a sensational solo goal. What could have been. The same is true of his closest rival for this berth. Jesse Lingard enjoyed a career hot streak in his 16 appearances and then opted to waste the rest of it.
Centre-forward – Marko Arnautović It’s a sad reflection of our recruitment that the two contenders for centre-forward are converted widemen. Michail Antonio is our Premier League record goalscorer and was the fulcrum of our attack for many years. However, his ability to relieve the pressure would hopefully be less significant in a better team and there’s no doubt that Arnautović is a more polished player. The Austrian wasn’t much of a team player but if there’s room for a maverick anywhere then it’s up front.
A Verdict on Progress
If one rationale behind the move was to attract higher-calibre players then that line-up doesn’t do much to justify it, especially since four of them also graced the Boleyn.
Then there’s the question of who’d manage them and what style would be played, because a team is more than the sum of its parts.
Everyone will have slightly different ideas about who’d make the team but whichever eleven you select, are they world-class? Champions League contenders at best (for a place in the group stage, not to win it) would be my verdict.
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