As I write this, West Ham United are third from bottom in the Premier League, seven points adrift from 17th placed Nottingham Forest.
The January Transfer Window is upon us once again, and we are in desperate need of some new faces to freshen up what has been a dismal season so far. However, those signings must be good enough to hit the ground running as we are currently staring relegation in the face.
Times are bad, yes but we have been here before. I have put together a squad that is made up of West Ham United’s worst and disappointing signings from the 1990 period to present in a traditional 4-4-2 formation with five subs.
The Back Five: From “McKnightmare” to Madrid
In goal, I have selected Roberto Jimenez. He had a torrid time in England and made a number of mistakes, which were costly. His most notable error was his own goal against Burnley, where he punched the ball into the back of his own net.
There was something good that came from his disastrous spell in goal though. David Martin (son of Alvin Martin) took Roberto’s place in November 2019 and produced an excellent display away at Chelsea and had the chance to embrace his father in the stands after keeping a well-earned clean sheet in a 1-0 win.
At right-back I have a World Cup Winner with Spain, Alvaro Arbeloa, who arrived on deadline day in 2016. He made only three appearances for the club and admitted that it was this spell in London that made him want to retire. He also had a parting shot at the manager at the time, Slaven Bilic, who was sacked, tweeting: “Better late than never.” Arbeloa will not be remembered fondly by West Ham supporters.
At left-back I have selected Razvan Rat. I found this position quite tricky as we have done fairly well at securing a decent left-back throughout our history. Rat enters the team on the back of a short six-month spell, having reportedly had a massive bust up with then manager Sam Allardyce. Only one man was going to win that battle and it wasn’t Razvan.
The two centre-backs I have selected are, Rigobert Song and Roger Johnson. The reason that I chose Rigobert Song is because he joined along with other players, which wasted the £18 million that the club received for the sale of Rio Ferdinand in 2000. Not his fault of course but I expected better. On paper, the Cameroon International looked like a good signing from Liverpool to help replace Rio Ferdinand. However, it never worked out, only making around 27 appearances for the club. It was disappointing and sticks in my mind, how we were (and still are) a selling club when it comes to our prized assets?
Did we also waste the money from the sale of Declan Rice as well? You could argue yes, just as we did in the year 2000 with the sale of Rio Ferdinand.
Next, we have Roger Johnson, who was an old-school centre back. He had a tumultuous final season at Wolves where he was turning up unfit for training. Enter West Ham. He made just six appearances for the club in 2014 including the 6-0 mauling away at Manchester City where it looked like he was wading through quick-sand trying to keep up with the Manchester City strikers.
The Midfield: Injury Woes and Oxford Commutes
My right-midfielder will be Kieron Dyer. It is tough to judge him at West Ham as he was plagued by injuries. On paper, he was an excellent, exciting signing for West Ham. It wasn’t a great start for him however; just 10 days after signing, he was stretchered off against Bristol Rovers in the League Cup, with his leg broken. In four seasons, Dyer only played 35 games. For the amount of money spent on the transfer: £7 million and the money spent on his wages, Dyer will always be a disappointing signing.
My left-midfielder will be Joey Beauchamp who sadly passed away in 2022. Beauchamp made a £1.2 million transfer from Oxford United in 1994. It was a 58-day nightmare for the 23-year-old exciting talent. Oxford United had been relegated and were under financial pressure to sell players. Beauchamp had said that he loved playing for Oxford United as they were his local team and he was well loved. Nevertheless, he knew that the club needed to sell and West Ham and the Premier League was an exciting prospect.
He said, in an interview years later, that he did not really understand that he had to move to London and felt that he could have commuted but didn’t take into account how long the commute would actually be. He eventually signed for Swindon Town, more local to Oxford after Harry Redknapp took over the manager’s job from Billy Bonds.
The two centre-midfielders I have decided upon are Illie Dumitrescu and Kalvin Phillips. This might be a harsh selection but I chose Dumitrescu because his performances at the 1994 World Cup stood out for me as a youngster. Firstly, he signed for Tottenham Hotspur but it never worked out for him, resulting in a transfer to West Ham in 1996. His West Ham career only lasted 13 games, which was extremely disappointing as he was an exciting player. It was a time when Harry Redknapp was bringing in many foreign imports. He wasn’t the only one that did not work out in that era.
Next, we have Kalvin Phillips, who was signed in January 2024, on loan from Manchester City. He had a hugely disappointing loan spell having a negative impact in the opening minutes of his debut against Bournemouth; a poor back pass, resulting in a goal. His time at the club did not improve and the game at Newcastle United springs to mind. Brought on as a sub with the team leading 3-1, he gave away a penalty and West Ham eventually lost the game 4-3. Not all his fault of course but when you’re brought on as a defensive midfielder it does not look good when your team lose 4-3 after leading 3-1.
The Attack: Caravans and Price Tags
I complete the starting eleven with two strikers: Marco Boogers and Savio Nsereko. Boogers was signed for £1 million (which was a lot of money at the time) in 1995 despite the fact that our manager at the time, Harry Redknapp had never actually seen him play. He made just four appearances for the club before being loaned to FC Groningen and then signing for RKC Waalwijk. His West Ham career will be remembered for a terrible foul on Gary Neville at Old Trafford, which he was sent-off for and for also hiding out in his caravan. Was this a myth? Who knows.
Our next striker is Savio Nsereko who signed from Brescia in January 2009. The transfer fee was around £9 million, which was the large majority of the money received for the sale of Craig Bellamy to Manchester City. Savio was given the number 10 shirt and although he was relatively unknown, the price tag created optimism that he would be an exciting signing. Unfortunately for him he made no impact and was sold for a reported £3 million to Fiorentina after only three months.
The Bench: Harrods, Washing Machines, and “McKnightmares”
On the bench, I have a mix of positions because, you know, it’s good to have options from the bench. We have the following players: Alan McKnight, Jack Wilshere, Carlos Sanchez, Florin Raducioiu and Benni McCarthy.
Although he was signed in the 1980s, I have included Alan McKnight due to his nickname amongst supporters as: Alan McKnightmare. He was known for making many costly errors. He had club goalkeeping legends either side of his spell at West Ham: Phil Parkes and Ludek Miklosko so maybe he felt pressure to live up to their high-level performances.
Jack Wilshere was already injury prone when he joined West Ham in 2018. His contract was terminated in 2020 with one year remaining. He only made 19 appearances for the club. He was an outstanding talent at Arsenal however plagued by injuries meant his career never reached the heights they probably deserved. His highlight at West Ham was probably him being filmed hiding from a young Declan Rice in a washing machine, jumping out and scaring the youngster.
Carlos Sanchez was also at the club at the same time as Jack Wilshere and offered very little. Some fans stated that we would be better off playing with 10 men rather than have the Colombian in the team. He only made 13 appearances across two seasons.
I will complete the squad and bench with two strikers. Florin Raducioiu signed for the club in 1996. Like his fellow countryman, Dumitrescu, he impressed for Romania in the 1994 World Cup and was an exciting signing on paper. However, it never worked out for him despite scoring a fine goal in a 2-2 draw with Manchester United at Upton Park. Unfortunately, he will be mostly remembered for allegedly missing the League Cup away match at Stockport County, busy shopping at Harrods. His replacement in the team, Iain Dowie scored one of the best headed own goals you will ever see, in a 2-1 defeat.
Finally, Benni McCarthy, who was a top-level striker at FC Porto and Blackburn Rovers. However, his time at West Ham will never be remembered fondly. He let himself get out of shape and did not score a single goal during his two-year spell at the club and made just 14 appearances before retiring.
Final Reflections: A Question of Recruitment
In that squad of 16 players there are a mix of reasons as to why they were selected by me. There could have been many other players that could have made the squad including a one to eleven of strikers alone. There will always be players that you look back on as a supporter, who will make you question why they were signed in the first place or why it just did not work out for them at the club.
They’ll also be players that find themselves consistently in the starting eleven week in and week out and you’re left scratching your head, amongst other like-minded supporters in their thousands. Why can’t the manager see what thousands of others can? Football supporters will always have their opinions and rightly so. My opinions may differ from others undertaking this task of selecting a squad of 16 players who are seen as the worst or disappointing signings for West Ham United.
Have the stadiums: Upton Park and the London Stadium made a difference to struggling players over the years? Maybe so. The unforgiving Chicken Run at Upton Park or the vastness of the London Stadium, hiding in plain sight for 66,000 people to see.
What we can all agree on is that there’ll be some fantastic players that sign for West Ham United Football Club and there’ll be some that we hope will never pull on the famous Claret and Blue shirt again. Let us hope that January brings us some joy from the Transfer Window and West Ham make another escape from relegation.
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